…each week in my head I sing this little song as I press on and try to love myself through my shortcomings. In Dori’s world she just keeps swimming, she doesn’t worry and she is so full of the joy of life. She doesn’t let fear paralyze her or keep her from moving forward.
I find myself losing focus each week and as I feel like I am slipping then bam it’s Sunday and there is Mark, Davene and Trish to fan the flame that I’ve let burn little to low. What a great high I feel each Sunday anticipating what they’ll say and share and then for the Masterminding after. I’ve grown to love hearing others share and being able to see myself in some of their questions, concerns, and triumphs.
I really have struggled for the past few months after the loss of our guide as she was fabulous beyond words. (for the record she is alive and very well but her path took a turn and she was no longer able to lead our tribe.) I didn’t need to lose her to realize it but in losing her realized it even more. She sent weekly notes to uplift and inspire each of us in ‘her tribe’ and our weekly face to face video conference calls were the highlight of my work week. Her smile was truly contagious and as I’d read her emails I could feel her joy and concern as though she was standing beside me beaming. It was difficult to lose her and those weekly interactions with other members of my tribe. It hasn’t been the same but I’ve slowly realized that though my guide isn’t along for this part of my journey her impact in the beginning was enough. It taught me to just keep swimming and not to be so hard on myself when I fall down or need more time to sort things out. Often she would remind our tribe that we were on a journey and we all travelled at different speeds, that we needed to love ourself and recognize how far we had come. My DMP took an amazing turn after her phone call all the way from Costa Rica to talk to and inspire me to dig a little deeper.
So many times my old BluePrint has screamed at me to stop, slow down at least and leave things the status quo but I can’t and won’t. I have to …just keep swimming….So the readings, sit, blogging, alliances and more go on and rather than compare myself to the progresso others I just keep swimming knowing that I’m on this journey and it’s where I’m supposed to be no matter the spot that I may be standing in at any particular moment.
Each week when I check my virtue wondering what will help me better emulate it. The past two weeks I have had Initiative and Courage. Ironically these two go well together back to back. If casually asked if I took initiave I would have said, “Yes! Absolutely.” However, with it as my focus on week 19 I realized I didn’t always take the initiative when I could and perhaps should have. Generally when I was unsure of success I would pause, hesitate maybe even rationalize why I couldn’t or why someone else would be a much better fit. Deep down I think I knew I could do well but ‘my fear’ would get in the way if I didn’t have the conviction.
Week 20 I had courage for my virtue and what a great virtue to focus on right after realizing I let fear prevent me from taking initiate. I have let things keep me from progressing that in reality shouldn’t have.
So now I
will have courage and I will initiative! ‘Today I begin a new life, Today I shed my old skin which hath for too long suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocrity.’ Scroll I comes back around again and again. I love this process and love what I am learning about myself. It sure simplifies the process when you start with a clean concrete free subject. Otherwise it’s like they say in the South you’re just “Putting lipstick on a pig”.
The word of the week is DISCIPLINE and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I love Mondays and even better than a Monday, is the first day of a new month on a Monday! It’s like winning the motivational sweepstakes in my world. A new day, a new week and a new month all at once what?!?! It’s so exciting.
I sat with my husband and we decided to wake each morning at 5:10 maybe hit snooze once in the interest of full disclosure and then walk our neighborhood until 6am so we could be sure to fit in our exercise. Plus it gives us time alone which means we can compete a thought without being interrupted by children. We each want to be in better shape and improve our health so the walk serves many purposes.
We put into play a ‘family help chart’ where we let our children tell us how they felt they could best help around the house and so far it’s a screaming success. Then since we were on such a great roll we added in the kindness tracking poster. What is that you ask? Well I’m glad you did, let me tell you about it. We have a lined poster that’s laminated and it has the days of the month running down the left side and across the top each family members name. When someone ‘catches’ someone else showing kindness they come put a dot by their name. You can’t dot your own name, you have to catch someone else or be caught yourself. A child friendly version of the Franklin Makeover. It’s been fun having each child come get me excited to tell me who they ‘caught’ showing kindness and eager to track it on our chart.
This week I had to have discipline to accomplish these things as it took great effort to focus on these things rather than the day to day things that call the oldest for my time and my attention. I was very conscientious this week each time I made a choice about whether or not to do this or that. I found myself immediately thinking of my DMP and if it would forward that. Wondering if this were my last day, would this be what I wanted it to consist of.
Though I don’t have a neon sign that makes it so that others can see all that is changing within me, I want to shout it out loud as I see more and more concrete fall off revealing Nature’s Greatest Miracle.
I know how to do it and I do it multiple times a day. I say yes, maybe, we’ll see, let me think about it, I think that’s a good idea, let me ask, I’ll have to check, I think so, I’m sure, That’s great, of course, definitely, indeedie do, and many more at least twice a day. What is it I do? I respond to others’ questions and give my permission. I have seemed to really struggle with giving myself permission though. Why is it so hard? Why haven’t I been able to just ‘let it go’? I can sing the song and in an earlier post I felt as though I really could just let it go but that was before I realized how hard it was to give myself permission.
I want to complete my own Hero’s Journey and for years have caught glimpses of it as it streaked through my mind. I’d smile internally and think how amazing that would be then I’d blink and get sucked back into my day to day rat race. That is no more because: today I begin a new life, today I shed my old skin which hath for too long suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocre. I greet this day with love and I persist until I succeed. I am Nature’s Greatest Miracle. How can there be any doubt if I know like I know, like I know.
My journey has begun and you are along for the ride…….stay tuned.
I debated posting all week as for the first time in 17 weeks I wasn’t on the live webinar. I can’t post about an amazing week or where I am but I can say I am still focused on where I am going.
As I have tweaked my DMP (yet again) and refreshed my vision board, touched up my shapes around my house and my 3×5 cards with shapes but it continues to resonate in me that despite my obstacles in feeling like I am doing enough, that I can love myself where I am and I can give myself permission to keep moving in the direction of my bliss…..
Let go of the banana, let it go, let it go! Oh how I need to have someone reminding me to “let go” let go of the things that keep me from following through. The things that keep me in concrete…. where yes, it’s comfortable, familiar and even cozy but it is not where I want to be nor will it ever get me to where I want to go.
We think of the cute monkeys that are captured by simply refusing to let go of the banana in the trap. That is all they need to do so that they can pull their little arm out and escape. I mean their lives depend on it, their freedom hinges on their ability to ‘let go’. To let go of what they think they want in that moment which is a yummy banana. However the cost is far too great. They are so focused on the immediate gratification of having that banana that they give up on everything that really matters and ironically more than likely that includes getting more bananas.
The parallels in our own lives should be screaming out right now as you read this. It was like an opera singer for me holding that perfectly high note that won’t be dropped or ever forgotten. Let it go!
It’s such an amazing command those three words that Disney made more than $1.3 Billion making a movie that focused on and highlighted those three simple words…….LET IT GO! I can’t imagine that you haven’t but if you were off the planet on vacation for the past 2+ years and missed hearing the featured song from the soundtrack of Frozen that won a Grammy for Best Song as well as sold 10.9 million copies give listen to this: Let It Go
What do you need to let go of so that you can move forward? What is your cozy comfort that is an immediate gratification but holding you back from what’s really your bliss? I’d list mine here but I’m not brave enough for that quite yet but I do know and that’s half the battle. Recognition of and the willingness to let go of those things.
Can anyone else feel the days whiz by as I do? It’s like a blink and it’s Monday. I blink again and it’s Friday then Sunday then I blink again……..How fast our lives go by and are we making them count? This week I happened to pick up a book my dear hubby is reading and was instantly aware of how many times I have heard and read the same the same message but did not receive it.
The book…The Power of Positive Thinking. As I scanned through the pages I felt myself drawn to the words that echoed exactly what we are learning (or relearning) through this MMMA. Have a ‘true desire’ then focus your thoughts on that thing you desire, see yourself in possession of it, allow yourself a time daily for meditation where you focus on a phrase/scripture, don’t allow a negative thought to enter and never to linger in your mind. I can’t even count how long I have owned this book (I have multiple copies) or how many times I have read it. It’s clear though that I didn’t retain what I read. Well, that isn’t completely true because as I reread portions of the book this week it was like a flood of knowledge that had been tucked away boiling to the surface. It was yet another opportunity for me to acknowledge where I have been, where I am and where I am going.
I am so excited for my Dharma to continue manifesting itself. Hold on tight and blink slowly or you’ll miss the fun.